Student: Can I use the bathroom?
Teacher: Okay but first say your ABC's.
Students: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZ
Teacher: Where's the P?
Student: Its running down my leg!
Boy: Will you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not!
Boy: Good, cause I didn't do my homework!
1. Teacher: How old were you on your last birthday?
Teacher: How old will you be on your next birthday?
Teacher: That's impossible.
Charlotte: No, it isn't, teacher. I'm eight today.
2. Teacher: George, go to the map and find North America.
George: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
3. Teacher: Willy, name one important thing we have today
that we didn't have ten years ago.
4. Teacher: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
Tommy: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
5. Teacher: Why are you late?
Webster: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Webster: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
6. Sylvia: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Father: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Sylvia: Your name on this report card.
7. Teacher: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
Sammy: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.
8.Teacher: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
Jose: Don't bite any.
9 Teacher: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I". Ellen: I is...
Teacher: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
Ellen: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
10. Mother: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?
Junior: You said it was my lunch money.
11. Teacher: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
Class Comedian: Big hands!
"Johnny, where's your homework?" Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. "My dog ate it," was his solemn response. "Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?"
"It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted Johnny. "I covered it with peanut butter and he woofed it down."
Q: Why did the boy blush when he opened the refrigerator?
A: He saw the salad dressing !