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The best jokes and joke writers!

Stone Sinking in Water

Teacher:  "Why does a stone sink in water when you thrown it in?"

Student:  "Because it does not know how to swim!"

Condom Company

A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, "Are all of those kids yours?" He replies, "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."

Mommy Dearest!

As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3 year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, she said, "Mom, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers.  Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her fingers in my mouth and said, "Mommy is gonna eat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again.  When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face and tears down her face.  I said, "What's wrong honey?"  Sad and broken up she looked at me and said, "Mommy, where's my booger?"

A Fortunate Coincidence

John: "I'm glad you named me John."

Mother: "Why?"

John: "Because that's what all the kids at school call me."

Four Kids

There were once four kids, Poop, Shut Up, Manners, and Trouble. Poop was riding his bike and fell. Manners went to help him up. Trouble got lost. Shut Up goes to the Police Station to report it.

Officer: What's your name?

Shut Up: Shut Up.

Officer: What's your name?

Shut Up: Shut Up.

Officer: For the last time, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?!

Shut Up: Shut Up!

Officer: Are you looking for Trouble?

Shut Up: Yeah, we lost him about 2 miles back.

Officer: Where's your Manners?

Shut Up: Back there pickin' up Poop.