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The best jokes and joke writers!

Alphabet Soup

Q: What happened to the boy who ate four cans of alphabet soup in one sitting?

A: A few hours later he had a massive vowel movement.

Pondering Collection

  • Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
  • If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
  • The pen is mightier than the sword -- if the sword is very small and the pen is really sharp.
  • If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
  • Call me insane one more time and I'll eat your other eye!
  • I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
  • When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
  • Stupidity got us into this mess. Why can't it get us out?
  • The trouble with doing nothing is that you never know when you are finished.
  • Money isn't everything, but at least it encourages relatives to stay in touch.

Don't Look

Q: Why did the boy blush when he opened the refrigerator?

A: He saw the salad dressing !

Humanitarian Diet

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Veggie

Q: What is another name for a vegetarian?

A: A missed steak.