Eating with Children

A guy hosted a dinner party for people from work, including his boss.  All during the sit-down dinner, the host's three-year-old girl stared at her father's boss sitting across from her.
The girl could hardly eat her food from staring.  The man checked his tie, felt his face for food, patted his hair in place, but nothing stopped her from staring at him.
He tried his best to just ignore her but, finally it was too much for him.  He asked her, "Why are you staring at me?"
Everyone at the table had noticed her behavior and the table went quiet for her response.
The little girl said, "My Daddy said you drink like a fish and I don't want to miss it!"

Mixed Not

Q: Why don't Mexicans and blacks have children together?
A: They're afraid the kids will grow up too lazy to steal.

Student Proverbs

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.

• As you shall make your bed so shall you...mess it up.
• Better be safe than...punch a 5th grader.
• Strike while the...bug is close.
• It's always darkest before...daylight savings time.
• You can lead a horse to water but...how?
• Don't bite the hand that...looks dirty.
• A miss is as good as a...
• Mr. You can't teach an old dog new...math.
• If you lie down with the dogs, you'll...stink in the morning.
• The pen is mightier than the...pigs.
• An idle mind is...the best way to relax.
• Where there's smoke, there's...pollution.
• Happy is the bride who...gets all the presents.
• A penny saved is...not much.
• Two's company, three's...the musketeers.
• Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and...you have to blow your nose.
• Children should be seen and not...spanked or grounded.
• When the blind leadeth the blind...get out of the way.