Four Kids

There were once four kids, Poop, Shut Up, Manners, and Trouble. Poop was riding his bike and fell. Manners went to help him up. Trouble got lost. Shut Up goes to the Police Station to report it.
Officer: What's your name?
Shut Up: Shut Up.
Officer: What's your name?
Shut Up: Shut Up.
Officer: For the last time, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?!
Shut Up: Shut Up!
Officer: Are you looking for Trouble?
Shut Up: Yeah, we lost him about 2 miles back.
Officer: Where's your Manners?
Shut Up: Back there pickin' up Poop.

Everyone Is Busy

Sales person: Hello, may I speak to the man of the house please?
Youngster: (whispering) No, he's busy.
Sales person: Well then, can I please speak to your mother?
Youngster: (in a whisper) She's busy too.
Sales person: I see, how about your brother or sister?  Can I speak to him?
Youngster: (whispering) No. They're both busy too.
Sales person: (losing patience) Is there anybody else there I could talk to???
Youngster: (in a whisper) Yeah, the police are here... but they are busy too....
Sales person: ( by now quite exasperated) What are all these people doing that keeps them so busy?!!!
Youngster: (still whispering) Looking for me.

Failed Attempt

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, Mommy?" "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"