Frog Talk

A grandson runs up to his grandfather and asks him if he can talk like a frog. "Of course not," says the grandfather. A few minutes later, his granddaughter asks him the same question. "No, of course not. Why are you both asking me this?" The granddaughter replies, "Dad said that when you croak, we can go to Disneyland."

Dog Bite

My mother-in-law was bitten by a dog yesterday. How is she now? She's fine. But, the dog died.

Sideline Coach

A junior soccer team is playing a match one Sunday. Just before the kick-off the team coach approaches one of his young players. “Do you understand that you mustn’t swear at the ref if he gives you a card and you mustn’t attack an opponent if he fouls you?” “Yes,” replies the boy. “Good,” says the coach. “Now go and explain that to your mother.”