Jokes about Families

Blonde Weighs Baby

At a pharmacy, a blonde asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms. The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant's weight by weighing the woman and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first. "That won't work," countered the woman. "I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Mom's Predictions

Q: Can your mother predict the future with cards?
A: Yes! She takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home.

Anonymous

Pain

A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair. "Don't be angry," the Mother says, "Your little sister doesn't realize that pulling hair hurts." A short while later, there's more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate. This time the sister is bawling and her brother says... "Now she knows."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous