Competition

There's an incest competition in my town this weekend.
I'm going to enter my sister.

Boy & Grandpa

A little boy comes running Into the room and says, "Grandpa! Grandpa! Can you make a sound like a frog?" The Grandpa says, "I don't know, why?"
The little boy says, "Because grandma says as soon as you croak, we can go to Disneyland!"

Die Peacefully

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.