Dave's Adventure In A Cave (Limerick)
There once was a man named Dave, who found a dead whore in a cave. She was ugly as shit and missing one tit, but think of the money he saved!
Stumbling and Mumbling
A drunk stumbles out of a bar one night and passes a woman walking her dog. The man stops her and asks, "Hey where'd ya get the pig?" The woman replies, "Listen you drunken bastard, that's a dog not a pig." The man then said, "Take it easy, I was talking to the dog"
Yo Mama - Roadkill
Yo mama so ugly, when she looks at roadkill, it runs away.
What's on your Neck?
Oh my God!!! What's that big ugly thing on your neck?! Oh, it's just your head.
Yo Mama - Record
Yo mama so ugly, if ugliness was a record, she would go triple platinum.