Yo Mama - Accident
Yo mama so ugly, cops stop her to ask if she reported the accident.
Your teeth are so big when you sneeze you bite your chest.
A guy visits his psychiatrist, who tells him he's crazy. The guy replies, "I want a second opinion". The psychiatrist replies, "Okay, you're ugly too!"
"Doctor," the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore."
Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do."
The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes back on."
The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either."
The Woman On The Bus
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said:
"Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."
"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."