Suarez the Cannibal

Q: Did you hear about Suarez the cannibal?
A: Relatively ordinary guy, has a house, a beautiful wife, loves to eat Italian.

No Card

Two proctologists are discussing their most baffling cases. One proctologist tells the other one about the time he put his hand into a patient and pulled out a large bouquet of flowers. The other proctologist looked really amazed and asked, "Where did those flowers come from?" The other proctologist answered very cooly, "How should I know? There wasn't any card!!"

Billy Bob & Linda Sue's Anniversary night

On the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Billy Bob decided to forego a big party and treat Linda Sue to a memorable evening at home. Quietly filling the bathtub with champagne, he called her into the bathroom and they spent a sensual evening soaking in the tub by candlelight. When they were finished, Billy Bob decided he couldn't let all that expensive champagne go to waste, so he carefully poured it back into the empty bottles. However, when he was finished, he found he had nearly a half-bottle too much. He screamed to his wife, "Linda Sue, you NASTY BITCH, you DIDN'T?!?"