Gross Jokes

Patient: Doctor, should I file my nails?

Doctor: No! Throw them away like everybody else.

Q: What's organic dental floss?

A: Pubic hair.

A guy walks into a store. He goes up to the clerk and holds up his hand. In his hand he's holding a big pile of crap. He looks at the clerk with the biggest expression of relief and says, ''Whew, that was close. Look what I almost stepped in."

Q: What's brown and sits in the forest?

A: Winnie's pooh.

A lady on vacation took a stroll through the woods. Suddenly a little white duck, all covered with poop, crossed her path. "Oh, my," exclaimed the lady, "Come on, I'll clean you!" She took a Kleenex from her purse and cleaned the little critter. She walked a little farther and another duck, with poop all over it, crossed her way. Again she took a Kleenex and cleaned the little bird. Then she encountered a third duck, with the same problem. And for the third time, she acted like a Florence Nightingale. She walked on still farther and she heard a voice from the bushes calling... Pssssst... "Hey, lady!" "Yes?" she responded. "Do you have a Kleenex?" asked the voice from the bushes. "No, not anymore," she answered. "Damn! Have ya' seen any Ducks?"