Gross Jokes

One day a kid asked his friend if he'd seen the movie ''constipation?'' His friend replied "no". ''yeah...'' he said ''it never came out.

Jim and Lena were driving around the countryside when they ran over a skunk. "We better take the skunk to the vet, Lena. Just put the skunk between your legs to keep it warm." "But, Jim, what about the smell?" "Don't worry, Lena. The skunk will get used to it."

Yo mama so nasty, her crabs use her tampon string as a getaway rope.

Q: What's gross?
A: German porn.
 

Q: What's grosser than gross?
A: People who watch it.

One day, Grandma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Grandma's kitchen. "Where's my bucket and where's my water?" Grandma asked him. "I can't get any water from that water hole, Grandma," exclaimed Johnny. "There's a big ol' alligator down there!" "Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for a few years now, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!" "Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"