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Q: What's the secret to telling a good postman joke?
A: It's all in the delivery

Rocket Fuel

The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"
"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world.", says Johnny. The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny and says, "Now you know that's not true son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."
Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true. But one drop of this on a cats ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"

Funny Thought - Obama Moving into White House

Well, I was just thinking about all the possible things that could make Obama comfortable in the White House.

1. Putting graffiti on the walls of the White House that says, "Cheney was here!"
2. Changing the president's theme from "Hail to the Chief," to the Jeffersons' show's theme song, "We're moving on up."