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The best jokes and joke writers!

Premium Poop

I had to pay $150 for the bowel prep medication before my colonoscopy.

That shit was expensive.

Hostage Situation

During a bank robbery, the thief's mask slipped off. He fixed it and asked a hostage, "Did you see my face?" The hostage had, so the thief killed him. He asked the next hostage, same result. After he asked a third hostage, the guy responded, "No, but my wife did."

Medical Miracles

There's more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040 there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Boogers

Q: Why aren't boogers funny?

A: Because they're just snot.

Drugged Duck

Q: What drug was the duck on?

A: Qwack!