A Fortunate Coincidence
John: "I'm glad you named me John."
John: "Because that's what all the kids at school call me."
Q: What drug was the duck on?
Q: Why do Pilgrims have trouble keeping their pants up?
A: Because they wear their belts on their hats!
Q: Mississippi gave Missouri a New Jersey, so what did Delaware?
A: I don't know, Alaska.
Don't Trust a Bald Man
Never trust a bald man. If his head looks like your ass, you know he's full of sh*t!