Funny Thoughts

You're Next

A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. "You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Animal Jokes (Cow Jokes) , Funny Thoughts
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Wishes Granted

An old woman is sitting in a rocking chair on her porch, petting her cat Foo Foo. A fairy appears and says, "I'm here to grant you three wishes." The old woman says, "I wish I was twenty years old and beautiful again." Poof! She is. "Now I wish I had a million dollars and this old house was a mansion." Poof! Done. "And now I wish that Foo Foo was the handsomest man ever and deeply in love with me." Poof! Suddenly she's in the arms of a gorgeous man. He kisses her and says, "Darling, aren't you sorry you had me fixed?"

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Animal Jokes (Cat Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Old Age Jokes , Word Play Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Happy Birthdead

Q: What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday?
A: A dead puppy!

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Animal Jokes (Dog Jokes) , Funny Thoughts , Riddles , Dark Humor Jokes (Dead Baby Jokes)
Anonymous