Funny Thoughts

Wishes Granted

An old woman is sitting in a rocking chair on her porch, petting her cat Foo Foo. A fairy appears and says, "I'm here to grant you three wishes." The old woman says, "I wish I was twenty years old and beautiful again." Poof! She is. "Now I wish I had a million dollars and this old house was a mansion." Poof! Done. "And now I wish that Foo Foo was the handsomest man ever and deeply in love with me." Poof! Suddenly she's in the arms of a gorgeous man. He kisses her and says, "Darling, aren't you sorry you had me fixed?"

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Animal Jokes (Cat Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Old Age Jokes , Word Play Jokes
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Anonymous

Happy Birthdead

Q: What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday?
A: A dead puppy!

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Animal Jokes (Dog Jokes) , Funny Thoughts , Riddles , Dark Humor Jokes (Dead Baby Jokes)
Anonymous

Mary Had

Mary had a little sheep, with this sheep, she went to sleep. The sheep turned out to be a ram, and Mary had a little lamb.

Categories: Funny Nursery Rhymes , Funny Thoughts , Animal Jokes (Sheep Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Bestiality Jokes) , Word Play Jokes
Anonymous