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The best jokes and joke writers!

Funny Girl

Man: Haven't we met before?

Woman: Yes, I'm the receptionist at the STD Clinic.

Phonebook

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"

Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."

Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Only One

Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants."

Woman: "No thanks. There's already one asshole in there."

Under a Rock

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"

Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Female Comebacks

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?

Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

 

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

 

Man: Your place or mine?

Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

 

Man: So, what do you do for a living?

Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

 

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?

Woman: Do not enter.

 

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Woman: Unferrtilized.

 

Man: Your body is like a temple.

Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

 

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.

Woman: But would you stay there?

 

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.