Ten Inches

I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”

Only One

Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants."
Woman: "No thanks. There's already one asshole in there."

Date Creep

Man: To make a woman laugh is the second best method to get her to sleep with you.
Woman: And what is the best method?
Man: Chloroform.
Woman: You are funny!
Man: Good choice.