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The best jokes and joke writers!

Friday Pick-Up Lines - Phone Trouble

There's something wrong with my phone.

It doesn't have your number in it...

Pick Up and Put Down!

A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?" The girl says, "I don't like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn't dance with you!" The guy says, "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants!"

Pick-up Line - Birthday

I was telling a girl in the bar about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs. "Really" she said, "Go on then, try." After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"

I said, "Yesterday."

#1 Gay Bar Pickup Line

Q: What's the #1 pick up line in a gay bar?

A: Can I push your stool in?

Funny Girl

Man: Haven't we met before?

Woman: Yes, I'm the receptionist at the STD Clinic.