Grillin' with Dad
One day when I was young I watched my father grill burgers. When they were done, he handed me one, telling me it was a Bison burger. He then left and never came back. I know he may not have been dedicated to his family, but he was dedicated to his jokes.
Traveling Salesman West Virginia
A traveling salesman is in West Virginia when he comes upon a house with a little boy sitting on the front steps. "Son, is your mother home?" The little boy nods yes. "Can I see her please?" The boy nods again, and they go around to the back of the house where they find the mother on the ground, humping away with a sheep. "Son, do you see what your mother is doing?" The boy nods yes. "Do you know what that is?" The boy nods. "Doesn't that bother you?" "Naaaaaaaaaaaah!"
Good News, Bad News, Worse News
Good: Your son studies a lot in his room
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there
Worse: You're in them
My son wants Wellington boots for his birthday. He has no chance. I'm not traveling all the way to New Zealand just for footwear.
Written By: KielPhillips
I found my son hanging from a rope in his bedroom.
On the floor was a note saying, "I can't stand the critism anymore."
I quickly cut him down, gave him CPR and he started to breathe.
As he lay in my arms I saw his eyes slowly open and I said, "That's not how you spell criticism."