Mother's Day 2017
Today isn't just Mother's day
It's son-day as well
Dad Joke - Oldest
Dad: "You ask too many questions. Just like your older brother used to."
Me: "But... I'm the oldest."
"Sir, are you a stutterer?"
"No, my father stuttered, and the civil servant was an asshole"
Many years, a young woman entered the village butcher shop with a baby in her arms. She confronted the butcher with the news that the baby was his. "What are you going to do about it," she asked. The butcher thought about it, and offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.
The butcher marked the years on his calendars. One day, the teenager came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."
"I know," said the butcher, with a smile. "I've been counting too. When you take this parcel of meat home, tell your mother that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."
When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years. Then watch the expression on HIS face!"
I'm Not Your Son
A young boy asked his mother where babies come from and she answered "Go ask your father." He asked his father the same question and he answered "Go ask your mother!" Later that day at dinner the boy announced "I know that I am not your son because neither one you know where babies come from."