Jokes about Families - Mother Jokes

Daughter's Eighteenth Birthday

I'm so glad that this is my last child support payment. Month after month, year after year, those payments! So I called my baby girl, Kareesha, to come over to my house, and when she got there, I said to her, "Baby girl, I want you to take this last check over to your mother's house and tell her that this is the last check she's ever going to get from me, and I want you to come back and tell me the expression that's on her face." So my baby girl took the check over to her. I was really anxious to hear what she had to say and what she looked like.. As my baby girl walked through the door, I said, "Now what did she have to say?" "She told me to tell you that you ain't my daddy, and to watch the expression on your face."

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Jokes about Families (Father Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Daughter Jokes) , Word Play Jokes , Money Jokes (Money Owed Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Breaking the News

A guy is just getting back from a long business trip out of the country. He’d left his cat with his brother. As soon as he’s back at the airport, he calls his brother and asks about the cat. “The cat’s dead,” the brother says. The guy is devastated. “Hey, that cat meant a lot to me. Don’t you know any better than to break bad news like that? Jeez. You ought to say, ‘Well, the cat got out on the roof, and the fire department came. They put up the ladder, but the cat was afraid to let go. It was cold outside, and finally when they were able to get up there the cat had passed away from exposure.’ You know, break it gently.” “Man, I’m sorry,” the brother says. “I’ll do a better job next time.” “Okay. Anyway, what’s really important is family. How have you been all this time? How’s Mom?” “Well,” the brother says. “Mom got out on the roof..."

Categories: Animal Jokes (Cat Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Brother Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes)
Submitted BY: JackD

Crow Vision

My mom has crows feet in the corner of her eyes.
They really don't suit her. I told her she was too old for a facial tattoo.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Old Age Jokes , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes) , Word Play Jokes
Copyright © 2015 - Kiel Phillips - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Written By: KielPhillips