Jokes about Families - Mother Jokes

Mother: "Are you talking back to me?!"

Son: "Well yeah, that's kinda how communication works."

A little girl walks into her parents' bathroom and notices for the First time, her father's nakedness. Immediately, she is curious: he has equipment that she doesn't have. She asks, "What are those round things hanging there, daddy?" Proudly, he replies, "Those, sweetheart, are God's Apples of Life. Without them we wouldn't be here." Puzzled, she seeks her mommy out and tells her what daddy has said. To which mommy asks, "Did he say anything about the dead branch they're hanging from?"

"Daddy?" the kid asked his father. "Where did I come from?" "Ask your mother," he replied. "I did," the kid said. "But I don't think she was telling the truth. She said I came from a bucket." "Hmm.." chuckled his dad. "That's about the size of it..."

Two brothers, ages 6 and 8, decide they are old enough to start cursing. So they plan to use dirty words the next morning at breakfast. The 8-year-old says he'll use the world HELL and tells the 6-year-old to use ASS. Well, the next morning they head downstairs for breakfast. When their mother asks them what they want, the 8-year-old says, "Ah, Hell, I'll have some Fruit Loops." Shocked, the mother wheels around and backhands him on his chair, sending him screaming back upstairs. She then turns to the 6-year-old and says, "What are you going to have?" He replies, "I don't know, but you can bet your ass it ain't gonna be Fruit Loops."

A woman and her twelve year old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings. "Mom," said the boy, "What are all those women doing?" "They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied. The taxi driver turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money." The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true Mom?" His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers "Yes." After a few minutes the kid asks, "Mom, if those women have babies, what happens to them?" She replies, "Well, most of them become taxi drivers."