Jokes about Families - Mother Jokes

A mother and daughter are sitting down over afternoon tea. The mother wants to show her daughter that she's a hip parent and tries to get her daughter to open up and talk about dating boys and what it's like for her.

Mom: So... now that you have started dating, what's it like getting intimate with young men?

Daughter: Oh you know how it is, boys are always insensitive and never care if intimacy isn't working for me.

Mom: How?

Daughter: Oh, stuff...

Mom: Really now, you can trust me. I think that its important for mothers and daughters to talk about these matters...

Daughter: I don't know.....

Mom: Now don't forget, I was a teenager once and I can remember what dating boys was like for me, believe I remember.

Daughter: Really?

Mom: Really...

Daughter: Ok, for starters, how did you get their cum out of your eyes?

Q: Mom, why do you always stand by the window when I practice for my singing lessons?

A: I don't want the neighbors to think I'm employing corporal punishment, dear

Mother: "Are you talking back to me?!"

Son: "Well yeah, that's kinda how communication works."

A little girl walks into her parents' bathroom and notices for the First time, her father's nakedness. Immediately, she is curious: he has equipment that she doesn't have. She asks, "What are those round things hanging there, daddy?" Proudly, he replies, "Those, sweetheart, are God's Apples of Life. Without them we wouldn't be here." Puzzled, she seeks her mommy out and tells her what daddy has said. To which mommy asks, "Did he say anything about the dead branch they're hanging from?"

"Daddy?" the kid asked his father. "Where did I come from?" "Ask your mother," he replied. "I did," the kid said. "But I don't think she was telling the truth. She said I came from a bucket." "Hmm.." chuckled his dad. "That's about the size of it..."