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The best jokes and joke writers!

Baby's First Words

A dad was teaching his baby how to talk...

Dad: Say Daddy!

Baby: Mommy!

Dad: Come on, say Daddy!

Baby: Mommy!

Dad: Fuck, just say Daddy!

Baby: Fuck, Mommy!

Mom: Honey, I’m home!

Baby: Fuck!

Mom: Who taught you that?

Baby: Daddy!

Dad: Son of a bitch.

No Willy

Little boy came into the kitchen and declared, "Mom, now I know why girls don't have willys! They fall off, and I found yours under your pillow."

Broom Talk

Q: What did mother broom say to the baby broom?

A: It's time to go to sweep.

Yo Mama - Home Cooking

Yo mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.

Phone For Texas Aggie

Soon after the Texas Aggie clocked in for work, the foreman called him over and told him that he had a phone call in the front office. When the Aggie returned, he had a mournful expression on his face and his head hung low. His foreman noticed and asked if he had received bad news. "Shure was, Boss" he replied, "I just found out that my mother died earlier this morning." "Gosh, that's awful," replied the foreman "Do you want the rest of the day off?" "No," replied the Aggie. "I'll finish the day out." About an hour later, the foreman returned to inform him that there was another phone call for him up front. This time when the Aggie returned he looked twice as glum and the foreman asked if everything was alright. "Jezz, Boss this has to be the worst day of my life," Moaned the Aggie. "That was my brother, and his mother died today too!"