Yo Mama - Committing Suicide
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by jumping out a basement window.
At the Crazy Farm
A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds, and he entered a patient's room to find his patient sitting on the floor, sawing at a piece of wood with the side of his hand. Meanwhile, another patient was in the room, hanging from the ceiling by his feet. The doctor asked his patient what he was doing, sitting on the floor. The patient replied in an irritated fashion, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?" The doctor inquired, "And what is the fellow hanging from the ceiling doing?" "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a lightbulb." The doctor asks, "If he's your friend, don't you think you should get him down from there before he hurts himself?" "What? And work in the dark!?!"
Q: What does Kurt Cobain and Michaelangelo have in common?
A: They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
Headline in today's newspaper: "Suicidal Twin kills sister by mistake"!
Slit your wrists, it will lower your blood pressure.