Little Johnny / Suzie Jokes - At School

Teacher asks the children to discuss what their Dad's do for a living. Little Mary says: "My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail." Little Jack says: "My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better." All the kids in the class had their turn except  Little Johnny. Teacher says: "Johnny, what does your Dad do ?" Johnny says: "My Dad is dead." "I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died ?" "He turned blue and shit on the carpet."

Little LeBron was in English class, when his teacher asked him to use 'dictate' in a sentence. He things for a minute and says, "Lass night I heard Daddy askin' Momma, 'how do my dictate?'"

Little Suzie goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Suzie waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Suzie, what is your multi-syllable word?" Suzie says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Suzie, that's a mouthful." Suzie replies, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a bl*wjob."

In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test, and said, "Johnny I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests." Johnny was astounded and asked Mr. Johnson to prove it. "Well," said Mr. Johnson, "I was looking over your test and the question was, 'Who was our first president?', and the little girl that sits next to you, Mary, put 'George Washington,' and so did you." "So, everyone knows that he was the first president." "Well, just wait a minute," said Mr. Johnson. "The next question was, 'Who freed the slaves?' Mary put Abraham Lincoln and so did you." "Well, I read the history book last night and I remembered that," said Johnny. "Wait, wait," said Mr. Johnson. The next question was, "Who was president during the Louisiana Purchase?" Mary put 'I don't know,' and you put, 'Me neither."

The Teacher tells the class they are going to play a game, she will describe an object and the students will tell her what she had described.

Teacher: "The first object is Red, Round, and has a stem."

Timmy: "I know what it is, it's an apple."

Teacher: "That's right, I like the way you're thinking." "OK the next item is round, has a peel, and you eat it."

Christopher: "I know what it is, it's an orange."

Teacher: "That's right, I like the way you're thinking."

Johnny: "Can I try, Teacher?"

Teacher: "Yes Johnny, but, Keep it clean!" Johnny sticks his hands in his pockets and feels around for a second, and says "My object is round, hard, and has a head on it."

Teacher: "Alright Johnny, go to the office!"

Johnny: "No Teacher, it's a quarter, but, I like the way you're thinking!"