Dark Humor Jokes - Death Jokes

The Divorce

A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce."
The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph. She then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and he's a better lover than you."
Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as he clenches his hands on the wheels. She says, "I want the house."   Again the husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph. She says, "I want the kids too."  The husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, until he's up to 80 mph. She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit cards too." The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"
The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need right here." She asks, "What's that?" The husband replies, "This car only has one airbag."

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Divorce Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Life Insurance Thoughts

My wife and I took out life insurance on each other, so now it's just a waiting game!

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: ojcazares

A Packer Fan

A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Lambeau Field, until he noticed an empty seat down in front. He went down and asked the guy next to it if he knew whose seat it was. The guy said, "Yes, that's my wife's seat. We have never missed a game since the Lombardi days, but now my wife is dead." The fan offered his sympathy and said it was really too bad he couldn't find some relative to give the ticket to so they could enjoy the game together... "Oh no," the guy said, "they're all at the funeral."

Categories: Sports Jokes , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous