Dark Humor Jokes - Corpse Jokes

Mortuary Answering Machine

Thank you for calling Uncle Tom's Mortuary and Delicatessen. You stab 'em and we slab 'em. We have specials on Mondays and Thursdays. We are currently unable to come to the phone, but if you leave your number and address at the tone, we'll be by to pick up the corpse as soon as possible.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Dark Humor Jokes (Corpse Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Profession Jokes , Telephone Jokes (Answering Machine Jokes)
Anonymous

What Not To Say At A Funeral

What Not To Say At A Funeral

  • I'm not convinced. I'm going to go give her a good shaking?
  • I'm sure we'll all be laughing about this in no time!
  • It's funny, we all thought you'd be the first to go, Grandpa.
  • You know, your husband never paid back that $50 he owed

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Corpse Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Funny Thoughts , Jokes about Families (Grandmother Jokes)
Anonymous

Grandma

Girls find it creepy that I have sex in the same bed my grandma died in.
I mean, I'll move her once I've saved enough for a funeral.

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Corpse Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Grandmother Jokes) , Gross Jokes , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman)
Copyright © 2014 - Kiel Phillips - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Written By: KielPhillips