Dark Humor Jokes - Corpse Jokes

Mortuary Answering Machine

Thank you for calling Uncle Tom's Mortuary and Delicatessen. You stab 'em and we slab 'em. We have specials on Mondays and Thursdays. We are currently unable to come to the phone, but if you leave your number and address at the tone, we'll be by to pick up the corpse as soon as possible.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Dark Humor Jokes (Corpse Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Profession Jokes , Telephone Jokes (Answering Machine Jokes)
Anonymous

What Not To Say At A Funeral

What Not To Say At A Funeral

  • I'm not convinced. I'm going to go give her a good shaking?
  • I'm sure we'll all be laughing about this in no time!
  • It's funny, we all thought you'd be the first to go, Grandpa.
  • You know, your husband never paid back that $50 he owed

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Corpse Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Funny Thoughts , Jokes about Families (Grandmother Jokes)
Anonymous

Undertaker Story

An undertaker comes home with a black eye. "What happened to you?"asks his wife."I had a terrible day," replies the undertaker. "I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep. When i got there, the manager said they couldn't get him into a body bag because he had this huge erection. Anyway, I find the room and sure enough, there's this big naked guy lying on the bed with this huge erection. So I did what I always do, I grabbed it with both hands and tried to snap it in half." "I see,"says his wife."But how did you get the black eye? "The undertaker replies,"Wrong room."

Categories: Profession Jokes (Other Doctor Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Corpse Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts)
Anonymous