What Not To Say At A Funeral

What Not To Say At A Funeral

• I'm not convinced. I'm going to go give her a good shaking?
• I'm sure we'll all be laughing about this in no time!
• It's funny, we all thought you'd be the first to go, Grandpa.
• You know, your husband never paid back that $50 he owed

Undertaker Story

An undertaker comes home with a black eye. "What happened to you?"asks his wife."I had a terrible day," replies the undertaker. "I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep. When i got there, the manager said they couldn't get him into a body bag because he had this huge erection. Anyway, I find the room and sure enough, there's this big naked guy lying on the bed with this huge erection. So I did what I always do, I grabbed it with both hands and tried to snap it in half." "I see,"says his wife."But how did you get the black eye? "The undertaker replies,"Wrong room."

Ashamed

Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle. They made it to an uninhabited island. Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing. Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing. Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again...being so ashamed of what they were doing.