Dark Humor Jokes

If you love to laugh at the jokes that shock and disgust most people, then you have found your Graceland! ROFL with these deplorable wise cracks about death, incest, domestic violence and more!

Polack Catches Wife In Affair

This Polack came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I am home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun and put it to his head. His wife started laughing. "Don't laugh!" he screams. "You're next!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Where's my heart?

Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place. Not wanting to miss this vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be. "On a woman," the doctor said, "your heart would be just below your left breast. "Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a bullet wound to her left knee.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Be A Smoker!

Good News To All Smokers: The International Tabacco Syndicate, on its Golden Anniversary, wishes to invite Smokers of all ages to join in its biggest Anniversary Sweepstakes Draw, where every smoker is a sure winner! All smokers have the chance of winning the following major prizes. Grand Prizes: A Brand New Cancer, Bronchial Infection, Goiter, Sinusitis, Migraine, Cerebral Tumor, Paralysis, Hypertension, and Asthma. Second Prizes: Special Hepatitis, Meningitis, Bronchitis. Third Prizes: Colored TB, Emphysema, Arteriosclerosis, Gingivitis, Rheumatism, Heart Disease, and Lung Cancer. You can also have a chance to win consolation prizes such as: Tartar Deposits, Bad Breath, Stained Teeth, Appetite Loss, and Swelled Gums. Join now!!! Remember that the more sticks you puff, the more chances of easy winning. Fabulous prizes await you!!! You can also be a lucky winner! Please claim your prizes at the nearest funeral parlor. This promo is a limited offer... See your X-Ray result for more details!!!

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous