Nice Parrot

There was a man who traveled all around the world. Every city he stopped in he would buy something for his mother and send it to her. On one such stop he found a parrot that spoke thirty different languages. He immediately bought it and sent it home to his mother. A few days later he calls his mother. "Did you like the parrot?" he asked her. "Oh yes," she replied. "It was delicious." "WHAT!" the man cried. "You ate it? That parrot wasn't for you to eat! It spoke thirty languages!" The mother paused for a moment and then said, "So why didn't he say something?"

What Is 18 Inches Long

Q: What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ?
A: Crib death.

Dead Kitten

A little boy was visiting his grandparents on their farm and became attached to one of the kittens. This kitten, having no road sense, was killed by a passing car right in front of the little boy. The grandfather buried the kitten behind the barn, and the grandmother distracted the boy by giving him cookies and milk. While the little boy was eating, the following conversation took place. "Grandma, what happened to the kitten?" "It was killed by a car. The kitten is dead." "Where does a kitten go when it dies?" "God takes the kitten to heaven." The little boy took another bite of cookie and then said, "But, Grandma, what does God want with a dead kitten?"