Pop Culture / Celebrity Jokes

Returning from his emergency meeting with the Oscar nominations, Al Sharpton stopped at his local Sears store to purchase a new washing machine.  As he looked at the display models he realized that nearly all of them were white.  He began to complain and the clerk called the store manager. "What's the problem here, Reverend?" Sharpton pointed at the machines and loudly bemoaned the fact that most of them were white.

The manager replied, "Well Reverend, it's true that most of the washing machines are white, but if you'll open the lids, you'll see that all the agitators are black."

Little boy to mother: “Mommy, can I go swimming?”

Mother: “Certainly not. The sea’s too rough, there’s a terrible rip tide and a dangerous offshore current, and I’ve heard this coast is infested with jellyfish and sharks.”

Little boy: “But Daddy went swimming!”

Mother: “I know, but he has excellent life insurance.”

Q: Why did Michael Jackson run to Walmart?

A: Boys pants were half off.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Five kids just trick or treated at my door in the scariest most lifelike costumes I've ever seen. My heart is still pounding and I'm soaked in sweat. I just know I'll be having nightmares about this for years.

For a second I thought it was the real One Direction at my door.