Pop Culture / Celebrity Jokes

Elle McPherson, Cindy Crawford, and Naomi Campbell are going by air to a photo shoot. Halfway through the flight the plane had engine trouble, the pilot warned the girls to assume the crash position, just in case they went down. Elle put on more make-up saying, "They always rescued the beautiful ones first.' Cindy donned her jewelery claiming, "They would rescue the richest one first," upon which Naomi, threw off all her clothes, pressing herself against the window saying, "You're both wrong, the first thing they look for is the Black Box"!

Little boy to mother: “Mommy, can I go swimming?”

Mother: “Certainly not. The sea’s too rough, there’s a terrible rip tide and a dangerous offshore current, and I’ve heard this coast is infested with jellyfish and sharks.”

Little boy: “But Daddy went swimming!”

Mother: “I know, but he has excellent life insurance.”

Returning from his emergency meeting with the Oscar nominations, Al Sharpton stopped at his local Sears store to purchase a new washing machine.  As he looked at the display models he realized that nearly all of them were white.  He began to complain and the clerk called the store manager. "What's the problem here, Reverend?" Sharpton pointed at the machines and loudly bemoaned the fact that most of them were white.

The manager replied, "Well Reverend, it's true that most of the washing machines are white, but if you'll open the lids, you'll see that all the agitators are black."

Q: Why did Michael Jackson run to Walmart?

A: Boys pants were half off.

With all the negativity in the world today... 

...at least Charlie Sheen is staying positive.