Englishmen Taunt the Irish

Three Englishmen drink in a bar and spot an Irishman in the corner. The first Englishman starts to taunt the Irishman, "Did you know that St. Patrick was a sissy?" "Oh, no, I didn't know that. Thank you." The second Englishman yells, "Did you know that St. Patrick was a transvestite?" "Oh, no, I didn't know that. Thank you." The third Englishman yells, "Did you know that St. Patrick was an Englishman?" "Oh, no. But that's what your friends have been trying to tell me."

Jets Dog

A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender says, "No pets allowed." The man replies, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you'll see. Whenever the Jets score, my dog does flips." The Jets keep scoring field goals, and the dog keeps flipping and jumping. "Wow! What happens when the Jets score a touchdown?" The man replies, "I don't know. I've only had him for 7 years."

Mick's Story

Mick was sitting at the pub telling his mate Harry about a disturbing thing that happened the night before. "Last night I came home from the pub pissed as a tick, so I hopped into bed and started feeling up me missus. After a few strokes of her firm arse she got aroused and then we fucked like bunnies for about two hours. Like I do every time after a fuck, I leaned over and turned on the light, lit up two cigarettes and went to pass one to the trouble 'n' strife. Rubbing me weary eyes I realized that I'd accidentally walked into my 15 year old daughter's room, and worse still she was on the swimming team and didn't smoke.