Bar Jokes

Street Juggling

A Cop pulled a car over for speeding. When the Cop asked the driver why he was traveling 95 mph, the driver answered that he was a juggler on his way to do a show for a birthday party and didn't want to be late. The Cop told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket. The driver told the Cop that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle. The Cop told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his patrol car, and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler stated that he could, so the Cop got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler. While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind the patrol car. A drunk got out, watched the performance briefly, went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in. The Cop observed him doing this, and went over to the patrol car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing. The drunk replied, "You might as well haul my butt to jail, cause there's NO way I'll pass that test."

Categories: Profession Jokes (Police Jokes) , Travel Jokes (Car Trip Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes)
Anonymous

I'll Tell Them Slowly

"Hey," said a new arrival in the pub, "I've got some great Irish jokes." "Before you start," said the big bloke in the corner, ", I'm Irish." "Don't worry," said the newcomer, "I'll tell them slowly."

Categories: Bar Jokes (Walks Into a Bar) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Too Good To Be True

A Russian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work and were deciding where to go for a drink. The Irishman said "Let's all go to O'Learys. With every third round, the bartender will give each of us a free Guiness." The Italian said "That sounds good, but if we go to Baldini's with every third round they bring a free bottle of wine to the table." The Russian said "That sounds fine but if we go to Gouvstof's we drink for free all night and then go out into the parking lot and get laid." "That sounds to good to be true!" the Irishman exclaimed. "Have you actually been there?" "No," the Russian replied, "but my wife goes there all the time."

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Bar Jokes , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Italian Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous