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The best jokes and joke writers!

Your Mom is the Best in Town

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best lay in town." Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him and the drunk wanders off and stands at the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points to the same guy, and says, "I just screwed your mom, and it was swe-e-et!" Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk wanders off. Ten minutes later he comes back and announces, "Your mom even let me..." Finally the guy interrupts: "Go home, Dad - you're drunk!"

What Marketing Is

I've learned what marketing is.

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You approach her and tell her, "I am very good in bed." That is Direct Marketing.

You are at a party with a group of friends and you see a very pretty girl. One of your friends approaches her and tells her, "That guy over there is very good in bed." That is Advertising.

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You ask for her phone number. The following day you call her and tell her, "I am very good in bed." That is Telemarketing.

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You recognize her, you approach her and refresh her memory by telling her, "Do you remember how good I am in bed?" That is Customer Relationship Management.

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You get up, fix your tie, pour her a drink, open the door for her, pick up her bag when it falls and you tell her,"I am very good in bed." That is Public Relations.

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. She approaches you and tells you, "I heard you are very good in bed." That, that is Branding.

Porkpie

A man walks into a bar with a pork pie on his head. The barman asks, "Why are you wearing a pork pie on your head?" The man replies, "It's a family tradition. We always wear pork pies on our heads on Tuesday." The barman remarks, "But it's Wednesday." Sheepishly, the man says, "Man, I must look like a real fool."

Me Too

Two men walk into a bar. First one says "I'll have an H20."

Second man says, "You know what? I'll have an H20 too."

The second man dies.

Can I Smell Something

A guy goes into a bar and seats himself next to a hot looking woman. After a few drinks he musters the courage to talk to her. After a few more drinks and a little conversation he leans over to the woman and asks, "Can I smell your Pussy?" The woman is outraged and answers with a stern,
"Of course not!" The drunk man replies...
"Oh, then it must be your feet."