Christmas Party Warning

A warning to all you drivers, be careful about drunk driving as we're getting close to Christmas and Police are out there checking on people. Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing lead to another and I had a few too many cocktails and then went onto the wine. Not a good idea. Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car at the pub and took a bus home. Sure enough, I passed a police checkpoint, where they were pulling over drivers and performing breathalyzer tests. Because I was in a Bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from.

Wanna Hear A Polish Joke?

Guy walks into a bar, sits downs and starts to make conversation with guy at next table. "Want to hear the worlds's worst Polish Joke?" Other guy says "Sure, but before you tell it, let me tell you something. See those two bikers over there by the door-real mean motherfuckers. They're Polish. And those two bouncers by the bar? They're Polish too! The Bartender?? Polish!! And one more thing pal, I'm Polish too!!! Now..... still want to tell that joke?" "Hell no!", replies First Guy, "I don't want to have to explain it 6 times!"

Time for a Change

A bartender was working the late shift. While he was working, a beautiful blonde woman walked in and took a seat at the bar. She ordered up a Coors and sat there drinking for a while. Suddenly, the woman passed out cold on the stool. The bartender had a sudden thought, and so he cautiously looked around. Seeing that no one was around, he closed up the bar, and took advantage of the situation.
The next night, the bartender was, again, working the late shift, but some of his friends stopped by, so he told them about the previous night and his good time with the blonde woman. All of a sudden, the blonde walks in again. The bartender motions to his friends that she is the same lady. The lady sits down at the bar and orders another Coors. Eventually, she passes out. The bartender closes up shop, and him and all his friends take their turns.
The next night, the bartender is working the late shift. His friends show up, with all of their friends, and so there is a huge crowd in the bar. The woman walks in again, orders a Coors, drinks it, and then passes out. So, the barender closes up shop, and everyone has a turn.
The next night, even more people are waiting at the bar. The woman walks in and orders a Budweiser. The bartender, his plans foiled, asks, "You don't want the usual?" She looks at him for a minute and shakes her head. "No. Coors makes my pussy sore!"