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The best jokes and joke writers!

Meaner Than a Pitbull

Q:  What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes?

A: The guy who gave it to him.

K9 TV -Riddles

Q: What's the only button dogs can press on a TV remote?

A: The PAWS button.

Space Dogs

Q: Why are dogs afraid of outer space?

A: Because it's a vacuum.

Neighbor's Dog

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says "I've had enough of this," and she goes downstairs. The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?" The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!"

Dog Rules

Dog Rules...

  1. The dog is not allowed in the house.
  2. Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.
  3. The dog is allowed in all rooms, but has to stay off the furniture.
  4. The dog can get on the old furniture only.
  5. Fine, the dog is allowed on all the furniture, but is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.
  6. Okay, the dog is allowed on the bed, but only by invitation.
  7. The dog can sleep on the bed whenever he wants, but not under the covers.
  8. The dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only
  9. The dog can sleep under the covers every night.
  10. Humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the dog.