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The best jokes and joke writers!

Cron Dog

Q: What kind of dog tells time?

A: A watch dog.

The Nose

Q: Why is a dog's nose in the middle of his face?

A: Because its the scenter.

Flying Dog

A woman is out looking for a pet, and so she's trying the local pet shops. She walks into a small pet shop and explains her need to the attendant. He thinks for a moment and then says, "I've got just the thing for you madam. I'll just get him."

With that, he disappears into the back of the shop, and returns a few seconds later with a cute little puppy. "This dog is a special dog," he tells her. "It is able to fly," he explains, and with that throws the dog into the air. It immediately begins to float gracefully around the shop.

"There is one problem with him, however. Whenever you say 'my', he'll eat whatever you've mentioned. Watch. My apple!" The lady watches in astonishment as the dog zooms over to the shop attendant and furiously devours an apple he has produced from his pocket.

"He's cute, and so unusual. I'll take him," she says, and a few minutes later she is on her way back home with dog to show her husband.

"Darling, look what a clever pet I bought today!" she exclaims when she gets back home. "He can fly!"

The husband peers at the dog, and then remarks, "Fly eh? Ha! My ass"

Happy Pit Bull

Q:  What has 4 legs and 8 arms?

A:  A pit bull in a children's play area.

Dog at Flea Circus

Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?

A: He stole the show!