Alcohol Jokes

Whiskey Dress

Q: What's the difference between a sexy dress and a bottle of Whiskey?
A: A sexy dress can make one girl look hot, a bottle of whiskey can make all girls look hot.

Categories: Alcohol Jokes (Whiskey Jokes) , Sexist Jokes (About Women)
Anonymous

Two Dollars

A man was walking in the city, when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking bum who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, "If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?" "No, I stopped drinking years ago," the bum said. "Will you use it to gamble?" "I don't gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive." "Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?" "Are you NUTS! I haven't played golf in 20 years!" The man said, "Well, I'm not going to give you two dollars. Instead, I'm going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife." The bum was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad." The man replied, "That's OK. I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up drinking, gambling, and golf."

Categories: Alcohol Jokes , Sports Jokes (Golf Jokes) , Relationship Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Praise the Lord

Q: Why did god invent alcohol?
A: So fat women can get laid too.

Categories: Alcohol Jokes , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Word Play Jokes , Riddles , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Insult Jokes (Fat Insult Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous