Alcohol Jokes

You're in Big Trouble

John was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"
"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"
John thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license."
Judi, sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him -- he's just a wise guy when he's drunk and stoned."
Brian from the back seat said, "I told you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"

Categories: Travel Jokes (Car Trip Jokes) , Alcohol Jokes , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Criminal Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Police Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

God Created Alcohol

Q: Why did God create alcohol?
A: So ugly people could have sex, too.

Categories: Appearance Jokes (Ugly Jokes) , Sex Jokes , Alcohol Jokes , Riddles
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: juliettaylor

Shaky Hand

Patient: Doctor, Doctor You've got to help me! I just can't stop my hands shaking!
Doc: Do you drink a lot?
Patient: Not really - I spill most of it!

Categories: Alcohol Jokes , Funny Thoughts , Word Play Jokes , Profession Jokes (Other Doctor Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous