More Hilarious Al Gore Quotes and Blunders

• "I am not part of the problem. I am a Democrat."
• "A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
• "Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."
• "Democrats understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
• "Welcome to President Clinton, Mrs. Clinton, and my fellow astronauts."
• "Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
• "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
• "People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have tremendous impact on history."
• "When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."
• "The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Al Gore may or may not make."

Clinton in Oz!

The last four U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado in Kansas, and off they spin to the Land of OZ. After threatening trials and tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard. "WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD? WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: "I had a terrible time with Iran, so I've come for some courage." "No problem" says the Wizard, "WHO IS NEXT?" Ronald Reagan steps forward, "Well.., Well.., Well.., I need a brain." "Done" says the Wizard. "Who comes next before the Great Wizard?" Up steps George Bush sadly, "I'm told by the American people that I need a heart." "I've heard it's true" says the Wizard. "Consider it done." Then there is a great silence. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word. Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "WHAT BRINGS YOU TO THE EMERALD CITY!?" And Willie replies - "Is Dorothy around?"

New Treasury Bonds

The U.S. Treasury has just announced that it will sell three new types of bonds:
1. The Al Gore bond, which has no interest
.2. The Monica Lewinsky bond, which has no maturity And...
3. The Bill Clinton Bond, which has no principal.