Hypnotized Audience

A very good magician has hypnotised an entire audience. He has them under his complete control and they are willing do whatever he tells them to do. Unfortunately, at the vital moment, he trips over the microphone cord, lands on his ass and says, "Shit!"

Light Bulb - Economist

Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: That depends on the wage rate.

Signs He's a Bad Chiropractor

From Late Show with David Letterman:
Top Ten Signs You've Gone To a Bad Chiropractor
10. When you walk, you make a wacky accordion sound.
9. Keeps saying, "A spine is like a box of chocolates."
8. Repeatly asks, "You a cop? You sure you ain't a cop?"
7. Over and over, you hear crunching sounds followed by "Uh-oh."
6. There's a two drink minimum.
5. At end of session, lies down on the table and says, "My turn!"
4. He was nowhere near Woodstock and yet he's covered with mud.
3. Rushes in late to your appointment still wearing his Burger King uniform.
2. Hints that for an extra $50, he'll "straighten" something else.
1. You're fully-clothed and he's naked.