Identity Crisis

Psychiatrist: What is wrong with your brother?
Sister: He thinks he's a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has be been acting like a chicken?
Sister: Three years. We would have come in sooner, but we needed the eggs.

Waitress in a Strip Club

Q: What is the difference between a waitress who works in a strip club and an actual stripper?
A: About two weeks.

Chasing Ambulances

Q: Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
A: From chasing parked ambulances.