Painted Toilet Seat

A man decided to paint the toilet while his wife was away. His wife came home sooner than he expected, used the toilet, and got the seat stuck to her rear. Distraught, she asked her husband to unscrew the seat and drive her to the doctor. When they got to the doctor's office, the man lifted his wife's coat to show him their predicament. The man asked, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?" "Well, yes," the doctor replied, "but never framed."

Baker Apron -Riddles

Q: What does the baker have under his apron?
A: Dough nuts.

Vampire and Acting

Q: Why did the vampire take up acting?
A: It was in his blood!