Two Fools Flying

Two morons stand on a cliff with their arms outstretched. One has some bungees lined up on each arm, the other has parrots lined up on his arms. After a couple of minutes, they both leap off the cliff and fall to the ground. Laying next to each other in intensive care at the hospital, one moron says to the other, "I don't think much of this bungee jumping. "The other moron replies, "Yeah, I'm not too keen on this paragliding either."

Sneakers

Q: Why does an elephant wear sneakers?
A: So that he can sneak up on mice!

Texan, Russian, New Yorker Out to Eat

A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go into a restaurant in London. "Excuse me, but if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage due to the mad cow disease," says the waiter. The Texan says, "What's a shortage?" The Russian says, "What's a steak?" The New Yorker says, "What's 'excuse me'?"