Parrot Elephant

Q: What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant?
A: An animal that tells you everything that it remembers!

Centipede Delay

Q: Why was the centipede late?
A: Because he was playing "This little Piggy" with his baby brother!

A Milk Bath

When the milkman found a note on one of his customer's doors asking for 16 gallons instead of the usual quart, he rang the bell. "Sorry to bother you, ma'am," he said, "but are you sure you want sixteen gallons of milk today?"
"Oh, yes," said the lady of the house. "I'm going to take a milk bath."
"Do you want it pasteurized?"
"No, just up to my tits would be fine."