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The best jokes and joke writers!

Potato Chips

Q: What did one potato chip say to the other?

A: Shall we go for a dip?

Comeback Lines!

Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone.

Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

Man: Your hair color is fabulous.
Woman: Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store.

Man: You look like a dream.
Woman: Go back to sleep.

Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Yes, I want you to leave.

Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter. -OR- Stop.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Man: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
Woman: What's it like being the biggest liar in the world?

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

No Ghost

People say my house is haunted, but I haven't seen a single ghost in the 900 years I've lived here.

African Jump

Q: What do you call it when a bunch of African people jump out a plane?

A: Nightfall !!!

Special Names

One morning, a mama cow and her three baby cows were out grazing in the field. The first baby cow comes up to the mama cow and says, "Mama, why is my name Daisy?" And the mama cow said, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a daisy fell on your head." And the first baby cow trotted off, satisfied. The next day, they were all out in the field again. The second baby cow came up to the mama cow and said, "Mama, why is my name Tulip?" "Well, honey, when you were born a tulip fell on your head." And the baby cow was happy with that answer and continued grazing. The next day, they all went out into the field again to graze. The third baby cow came up to the mama cow and said, "GLUPHABABABLUGHARDTHYPOGHHH!!!"
And the mama cow said, "SHUT UP BRICK!!!"