USS Enterprise Crewmembers Lightbulb
Q: How many members of the USS Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. Scotty to get on the intercom when the light goes out and say, "I canna do it, Cap'n!". Spock to tell Kirk he is proceeding illogically. McCoy to say "Dammit, Jim -- I'm a doctor not an electrician!!" Kirk to screw it in and two red-shirt security officers to die in the process.
Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: None, burned out light bulbs have NO honor. And a true Klingon Warrior is not afraid of the dark!
Star Wars Vs Star Trek
TOP TEN REASONS WHY THE STAR WARS CHARACTERS WOULD KICK BUTT IN THE STAR TREK UNIVERSE:
10) In the Star Wars Universe weapons are rarely, if ever, set on "STUN."
9) The Enterprise needs a huge engine room with an anti-matter unit and a crew of 20 just to go into warp. The Millennium Falcon does the same thing with R2-D2 and a Wookie.
8) After resisting the Imperial torture droid and Darth Vader, Princess Leia still looked fresh and desirable. After pithy Cardassian starvation torture, Picard looked like hell.
7) One word: Light sabers.
6) Darth Vader could choke the entire Borg empire with one glance.
5) The Death Star doesn't care if a world is class "M" or not.
4) Luke Skywalker is not obsessed with sleeping with every alien he encounters.
3) Jabba the Hutt would eat Harry Mudd for trying to cut in on his action.
2) The Federation would have to attempt to liberate any ship named "Slave."
1) Picard pilots the Enterprise through asteroid belts at one-quarter impulse power. Han Solo floors it.
The Romulan Frog
Q: What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage?
A: A croaking device.
Dr. McCoy and the Physical
The new ensign reported to sickbay for her physical. When stripped, Dr. McCoy nodded approvingly and said, "You look nice and trim.
"Thanks," she answered. "I weigh one hundred pounds stripped for gym."
McCoy shook his head. "That guy has all the luck!"