In late 2014 the Wampanoag Indians asked their Chief if the winter was going to be cold and snowy. Not really knowing an answer, the chief takes a guess and tells the members of the village to collect wood to be prepared. Being a good leader, he then went to the library and checked the internet forecast from the National Weather Service. He was happy to see that their data agreed with message he gave his village. So the now confident Chief went back with a more urgent message to his people to collect even more wood and to be prepared. A month later he again visited the library and checked the forecast. The new forecast predicted even colder temperatures and huge snowfall. So the chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find every scrap of wood. Two weeks later he makes one final check with the National Weather Service. This time he calls and speaks with one of their senior forecasters, gets an even colder forecast with even more snow and asks the agent how they can be so certain. The man replies, "The Indians in Boston are collecting wood like crazy!"
Cold in Boston
I just got off the phone with a friend who lives in Massachusetts. He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is -32 and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. The wind chill is -59. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare.
He told me that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in!
Q: What do snowmen wear on their heads?
A: Ice caps !
On a bitterly cold winter morning a husband and his wife in Sioux Falls were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car
on the even-numbered side of the street so the Snow plows can get through." So the good wife went out and moved her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snow plows can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...." Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snow plows can get through?"
Then with the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave the car in the garage this time."
Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?