Want a Bag?
A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?" the cashier asks. "No," the guy says, "she's not that ugly."
My dad once told me that if a woman offers you coffee, she means sex.
Now i'm banned from Starbucks.
Why remember your mistakes?
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Beer Contains Female Hormones
Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption due to the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.
Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
A: Sexual harassment.
Q: What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
A: $3.99 a minute.