Men and Blenders

Q: Why are men like blenders?
A: Every woman who has one doesn't know why.

Blonde - Perfect Woman

A man is eating in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous blond eating at the next table. He has been checking her out all night, but lacks the nerve to go talk to her. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of her socket towards the man. He reflexively grabs and snatches it out of the air. "Oh my god, I am sooo sorry, " the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you." They enjoy a wonderful dinner together and afterwards the woman invites him back to her place for a drink. They go back to her house, and after a bit she leads him into the bedroom and begins undressing him. The couple have wild passionate sex over and over all night. The next morning when he awakens, she has already gotten up and brings him breakfast in bed. The guy is amazed. "You know, you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?" "No, she replies.... "You just happened to catch my eye."

Apples for Sale

A guy's driving down a country road when he comes upon a sign saying "Apples - $5.00 each." He thinks that's  a lot of money so he decides to go see what's up. He goes up to the farmer and says, "Hey, how come these apples are 5 bucks each?" The farmer replies, "They are peanut butter and jelly apples." The farmer hands him one and says, "Here, try one." So the man takes a bite out of the apple and says, "Peanut butter - that's great, but I thought you said that they were peanut butter and jelly apples." The farmer tells the man to turn it around. The man bites the other side and exclaims "son of a gun - jelly!" The man says, "These apples are great - give me some!" He gets back in his car and drives a little further down the road and then sees another sign "Apples - $10 each." Again, he pulls over, goes to the farmer and says, "Hey, what's up with these apples?" The farmer says, "They're ham and cheese apples. Here, try one." The guy takes a bit and exclaims, "Son of a gun - ham!" The guy then says, "Let me guess - I have to turn it around." The farmer says "You got it." The guy bites the other side and says, "Cheese." Again the man says, "These apples are great - give me some." Then he gets back in his car and drives down the road. He comes upon a third sign that says "Apples - $50 each." The guy really wants to see what's up with these apples. Again, he pulls over, goes up to the farmer and says, "What's the deal with these apples? 50 bucks each?" The farmer tells him that "These apples are pussy apples. Here, try one." The guy takes a bite out of it and says, "Yuck! This apple tastes like shit!" The farmer says, "Turn it around!"