Sex Jokes - Viagra Jokes

This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat. His wife said, "Where are you going ?"He said, "I'm going to the doctor." And she said, "Why? Are you sick?" "No," he said. "I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills." So his wife got up out of her rocker and was putting on her sweater and he said, "Where are you going?" She said, "I'm going to the doctor too." He said, "Why?" She said, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm going to get a tetanus shot."

An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist said  "That's no problem. How many do you want?" The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces." The pharmacist said, "That won't do you any good." The elderly gentleman said, "That's alright. I don't need them for sex anymore as I am over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes."

A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandfather in the hospital.  "How are you grandpa?" he asks.  "Feeling fine," says the old man.  "What's the food like?"  "Terrific, wonderful menus."  "And the nursing?".  "Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you."  "What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?"  "No problem at all. Nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet, and that's it.  I go out like a light."  The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so rushes off to question the Sister in charge.

"What are you people doing," he says, "I'm told you're giving an 85-year-old a Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true?"  Oh, yes," replies the Sister. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. The hot chocolate makes him sleep, and the Viagra stops him from rolling out of bed!"

Q: What's it called when a chameleon can't change its colors anymore?

A: A reptile dysfunction.

I took one of those Viagra tablets the other day, it got stuck in my throat and I had a stiff neck for about eight hours!